Chris Reed: On types of journalistic idiocy. Including mine. – The San Diego Union-Tribune

As a child growing up overseas on U.S. military bases my father was a civilian executive who worked for the Pentagon our family had a mail subscription to The Washington Post. Every three weeks, wed get a package of daily newspapers. At first, I just read sports. But by the time I was 11, I was reading the paper literally cover to cover. (I laughed far harder at the daily horoscope than the funny pages, thinking adults actually believe this glop?!?!)

I became a full-on news junkie one with pet peeves. Here are five that still irk me decades later. (Dont worry, this will not be a humorless screed, and it ends with me revealing my stupidest mistake as a journalist.)

The description of someone dying after a short battle with a disease. This came up twice last week.

After the passing of Tim Rosaforte, a much-admired longtime commentator on the Golf Channel, the network said he died following a brief battle with Alzheimers disease. Did it have a posthumous interview with Rosafortes corpse? Not only is it unknowable if this truly was a brief battle, its extremely unlikely. The Penn Memory Center says it is typical for an Alzheimers sufferer to go at least 10 years without symptoms.

After the death of legendary singer Ronnie Spector, MSN reported she died following a short battle with cancer. The arrival of a diagnosis of Alzheimers or cancer doesnt coincide with when the bodys battle begins. Duke University Medical Center shows how dumb this assumption is in a study headlined Why Do Most Cancers Take So Long to Develop?

The constant depiction of young athletes as having summer growth spurts. For one example of thousands, Sports Illustrateds Chris Mannix wrote that Ben Simmons of the Philadelphia 76ers sprouted four inches between his sophomore and junior years.

Yes, there are studies showing a slight correlation between faster growth and the summer months among undersized adolescents taking human growth hormone. And, yes, growth spurts are a real thing. But the National Institutes of Health says that for the most part, children continue to grow physically at a steady rate in a paper that doesnt mention summer once. The same holds for Johns Hopkins All Childrens Hospitals overview of growth during puberty.

So where does this canard come from? My theory is that most kids, especially student athletes, are measured by their coaches and PE teachers at the start of the school year. If you havent seen a teen for three months, of course the kids growth would stand out. Also, when parents buy new clothes for their children just before the school year starts, they are more inclined to notice at that point that Junior has gotten taller.

The pathetically imprecise use of the word suspect in crime coverage. Google shows 13.2 million hits when the suspect shot the clerk is typed into the search field. No, the gunman, gunwoman or gunperson shot the clerk.

When an individual suspected of committing the crime is identified, thats when the use of suspect makes sense. There is nothing suspected about the crime. Just look at the bleeding clerk.

The pathetically imprecise use of math in sports coverage. When you get a 70 on a test, you didnt nearly get a 100. When you have your 35th birthday, youre not nearly 50.

But in basketball, whenever players have a double-double 10 or more of something in two categories, starting with points, rebounds and assists they are almost inevitably described as nearly having a triple-double if they have seven in a third category. No, they need 43 percent more in the category to have a triple-double. That is not nearly.

The bizarre failure of writers to realize that most acronyms are the devil, and that even if you include a parenthetical explanation of what they mean after a first full reference, they throw readers for a loop upon subsequent use.

Yes, of course, Twitter and texting have made many shorthand expressions readily understood LOL, IMO, SMH, etc. But the curse of academic writing the assumption by authors that everyone is as familiar with insider jargon as they are applies to journalism as well.

Here are some examples of acronyms I have seen used without an initial explanation of what they are spelled out: FOIA (Freedom of Information Act), OSHA (Occupational Health and Safety Administration), UNESCO (United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization) and SCOTUS (Supreme Court of the United States). Excuse me, but WTF?

Yet if you consider what happened one Saturday night in 1990, who am I to judge anyone?

At about 10 p.m., I was the only person still in the newsroom of the Hawaii Tribune-Herald in Hilo when the news broke that Sen. Spark Matsunaga had died in a Toronto hospital. I quickly wrote a comprehensive 30-inch obituary about the legendary state politician and remade the Sunday front page.

But when I woke up the next morning and grabbed the paper from my doorstep, I was gripped by what felt like physical pain.

I had written that Matsunaga died not from prostate cancer but from prostrate cancer you know, the type you get when you lie on the ground too often.

I was so upset I nearly didnt go to the beach. Well, OK, thats not true. Of course I went to Hapuna, one of the nations best beaches. But I sure felt like a moron on the drive there.

Reed is deputy editor of the editorial and opinion section. Column archive: sdut.us/chrisreed. Twitter: @calwhine. Email: chris.reed@sduniontribune.com.

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Chris Reed: On types of journalistic idiocy. Including mine. - The San Diego Union-Tribune